


1: wreck

by offsicx



Series: warmth au [1]
Category: SHINee
Genre: Jongyu, M/M, also mentions of misgendering, lil bit of angst, trans!jonghyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/offsicx/pseuds/offsicx
Summary: "I really don't want to be alone right now."





	1: wreck

**Author's Note:**

> edited 9/20  
> fixed some minor problems

Kibum had never treated him like that. Well, never would technically be wrong. He had always been a bit of an asshole towards Jonghyun. Especially Jonghyun. Although, throughout everything, he knew his brother loved and accepted him. As much as he could, at least. Sometimes, in the beginning, the younger made shitty comments that really hurt him. Eventually, he realized it was mainly because Kibum was a hormonal teenager trying to understand himself, let alone anyone else. As they got older, their relationship improved and things returned to normal. So, for Jonghyun to hear his dear little brother call him a freak on the phone to god knows who, it was a little nerve wrecking. At a loss, Jonghyun decided to leave their house for awhile, quietly sneaking out without alarming the other residents. There was no point in confronting the younger and at that point, he was too shocked to do anything else.

After walking for at least ten minutes, he had calmed down enough to realize how chilly it was. Once the cold started chilling him to the bone, he realized he should probably return home, but the thought made him sick. Honestly, he couldn't go back to the house, seeing Kibum would've only caused more problems. On top of that, He knew he probably shouldn't be alone that night. More than anything, he didn't want to be. As he made his way further down the street, he called the only person he could think of.

“Hello?” The voice sounded tired and rough but made Jonghyun’s stomach do flips.

“Hey, J-Jinki.”

“Jjong? What time is it? What’s up?” The sharp sounds of shuffling filled Jonghyun’s ear as he walked further away from his neighborhood. He tried hard, he did. As tears filled his eyes to the brim though, he felt like a failure. Still, as tears threatened to spill, he tried to keep his voice steady.

“Can I come over? Please? I really don’t want to be alone right now.” As his voice cracked in the middle of the last word, he knew he was doomed. His biggest concern was worrying Jinki though. He really didn’t want to bother him. He didn’t want him to worry over something so stupid.

“Of course, are you alright? Where are you? Do you need me to come get you?” Jinki’s voice was clearer now, much more aware.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll be there in just a few minutes, okay?”

“Alright, be careful. I’ll see you soon.”

Traffic was minimal, at least. He decided to get all his crying done before he got to Jinki’s. There was a gas station right around the corner from Jinki’s apartment. Going in, he went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He needed to erase the evidence. Plus, he hadn’t eaten anything at all that day. So, he pulled himself together, got an energy bar, and made his way to the apartment.

Sighing, Jonghyun knocked on the door anxiously. It was like Jinki was waiting by the door because a few seconds later, he quickly opened the door and checked Jonghyun out quickly. Wordlessly, Jinki pulled him in for a hug. Jonghyun immediately melted in his arms.

“Do you want to talk about it, baby boy?” His breath was warm against the back of Jonghyun’s neck. A tingling sensation filled him as he felt like he was finally home.

Pulling away, Jonghyun looked up into Jinki’s eyes. Leaning in, he breathed in deeply, pressing their lips together sweetly. All Jinki could do was pull the smaller boy close and return the sign of affection. That was until a small sob broke through his lips. Pulling back, he was taken aback by seeing Jonghyun so distressed.

“Jinki, please. P-please, let’s just go to bed? Okay?” Jinki pulled him in quickly, rubbing his back with wide circles. Jonghyun's sobs seemed to echo through the quiet apartment.

“What do you need? Hm? Do you need medicine? A bath? Food?” He pulled Jonghyun’s bag and jacket off, leading him into the bedroom. The sobs calmed for the time being as he thought it over.

Was he overreacting? Possibly. He thought he was, at least. Jinki was so sweet to him throughout everything and that helped him remarkably. Although, his worries never seemed to stop.

“Can we have a bubble bath together? Then bed?”

“Of course, baby. You wanna go run the bath and I’ll get us some clothes and towels?”

Jonghyun agreed and as they were going through the process of getting ready for the bath, he reached a good relaxed state. He got his favorite bubble bath and lit some candles. Jinki returned shortly to him staring at the bathtub. Wordlessly, he approached his boyfriend, hugging Jonghyun from behind.

“Come on, love. Let’s get in okay? I won’t ask you about anything else. We can relax and go to bed,” Jonghyun nodded, slowly undressing. As did Jinki. Although Jinki stopped when the other removed his shirt, seeing gauze wrapped tightly around his torso. “Oh, baby boy, you shouldn't do this. You need to get the proper materials if you're going to do this.”

Jinki slowly removed the gauze as he softly kissed the smaller’s shoulder, rubbing down his ribs. Jonghyun melted once again against his touch. His ribs and chest ached. He wasn't sure how long he had his chest wrapped but it was definitely too long. After a few minutes of being in his head, he made the first move to continue with what they were doing. He tried his best to ignore the things he thought. He just wanted to enjoy a peaceful moment with his boyfriend. He wanted to relish in the haven that Jinki created for him. He did so much for him. The least he could do was calm down and appreciate what was being done.

As Jonghyun got in the tub, leaning back against Jinki, he made sure to take deep breaths. The other was rubbing his back and sides the whole time, humming a sweet tune he heard on the radio. After a while, his hums turned into sweet whispers. Jinki would always do this when his boyfriend was upset. He’d tell him how much he loved him, he was a good boy, so handsome, and so on.

“Jjong, do you…” Even though he said he wouldn’t push it anymore, he couldn’t help it. Jinki was cautious and gentle, just like he always was. He handled things wonderfully most of the time and Jonghyun felt so blessed. He wrapped his arms around him and squeezed gently, “do you want to talk about it?”

“I… it’s just Kibum,” Jonghyun started, but he wasn’t certain if he wanted to go on. He decided quickly to leave it at that though. _Keep going and he might get angry. It’s something so trivial. He’ll laugh at you._

Of course, that only made Jinki more curious. His thoughts immediately started to wander. He hesitated, but asked anyway, “What did he do Jonghyun?”

“Nothing. It’s…” _stupid_. He stopped himself because it was. He was terrified. Absolutely terrified of irritating Jinki and eventually losing him. It only took so much to push someone away. Jonghyun knew that. He knew that very well and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to deal with losing Jinki.

“It hurt your feelings and I’d like to know what it was. You don’t have to tell me. I would really appreciate it if you did, though.”

Jinki’s hands traveled up Jonghyun’s arms and into his hair. It was about time for him to get a haircut. Before long he would probably start complaining about it. For the time being though, he ran his fingers through the soft strands. As Jinki twirled the short locks in his fingers, Jonghyun turned to look up at him.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. I love you and I want to know.”

“All right. Um…” Jonghyun turned back around, resting his back against Jinki’s front yet again. He sighed deeply as he continued, “I went to Kibum’s room because I was going to ask if I could borrow his PSP for a while because I left mine here last time, right? And I went to knock on his door and I heard him talking on his phone to someone. And…”

“Breathe. It's all okay. Take your time.”

Jonghyun took a deep breath and let out a shaky sigh as he continued, “He was talking about how- how crazy I am,” The tears welled up in his eyes again, “About how I’m not really- not really a boy. That there’s something wrong with me. About- about how frustrating I can be. That- that I’m a-… uh-… I’m a girl and I was fine with it before, you know, last year. That I’m just trying to get attention,” tears fell freely down Jonghyun’s cheeks as he pulled his knees to his chest.

For a while, it was silent. Not a sound or movement was made. Jinki sat frozen behind his boyfriend, unsure what he should do. The younger continued crying, curled up in front of him. When Jinki could pull himself together, he leaned forward and opened the drain to let the water out. He grabbed the shower head and turned on the warm water, spraying them both off. After they weren’t soapy, he got out and dried himself off before reaching in and pulling Jonghyun up to dry him off too. The smaller boy remained quiet, sobbing quietly to himself. Jinki pulled him to his bedroom, handing him a long shirt to wear and getting a pair of briefs on himself.

It wasn’t until after they were settled in bed that he finally spoke, “Jonghyun. I’m not going to tell you to stop crying. You’re hurt and it’s okay to let it out. Just go ahead and keep crying if you need to, it's okay,” His voice was barely above a whisper as he rubbed his boyfriend’s stomach, “As for your brother, I’m still shocked. He hasn’t really been supportive, but he wasn’t like this either. You didn't deserve any of that. You're definitely not crazy. There's nothing wrong with you at all. You are a boy. That’s what you identify as. It’s okay. It doesn’t matter what parts you have, I support you. You are my boyfriend.”

Jonghyun’s sobs slowed to a stop once again. Jinki gently rubbed his tears away, kissing his temple. He began humming again as he continued to rub his stomach and back. The younger settled down quickly and reached up, rubbing the other’s hair. Jinki pulled back and smiled down at him. Jonghyun leaned up and pecked his lips. He leaned into it, deepening it. As his hands cupped his boyfriend’s face, his heart felt like it was going to stop. He knew he always meant well, but he was worried that it was going to go farther than he anticipated that night. He gently pulled back, looking shyly up at his precious boyfriend. Jinki just smiled and kissed his forehead before shifting to settle in a comfortable position.

“Let’s get some rest, yeah?” Jinki whispered and Jonghyun quickly relaxed against the arms of his lover, closing his eyes and steadying his breathing.


End file.
